Mixed Emotions

Over the past few weeks, I have been dealing with my rollercoaster emotions around the fact that we will have our first Black President. A Black man. I imagine my ancestors are breaking out the sparkling cider while thanking God for the faithfulness of His/Her promises. If you are experiencing a lot of clouds in your area, it is because they are kicking up a lot of dust from all the dancing and shouting up in heaven. Unlike many of us, they never doubted this moment for one second.

I also think about my own vision. A vision that drove me to write a book celebrating and uplifting African-American men long before it was fashionable to do so. A vision that tells the story of a Black man who loves God, honors his family and children, respects his fellow brothers and sisters regardless of what shade of the rainbow they reflect, and who is determined to make this world a better place for all. I imagine my ancestors demanding that I hold fast to my dream just as they did Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. when he stood before thousands of people and declared this very day that is now being ushered in by Barack Obama in his I Have A Dream Speech.

And so, as I try to wrap my brain around the tragedy that Jennifer Hudson and her family find thrust upon them, I sift through it all with my own belief system. What I come up with is far too complicated and leaves my head spinning, requiring me to turn to the One who is all, knows all and created all with a bombardment of questions. Many of my questions go unanswered, or so I think, and others are given what I feel are flippant answers given the simplicity of their truth. I find myself wanting all of my questions satisfied with answers that I think make sense, and realize I am not seeking, but telling. I am telling this all powerful force what and how I think things should be, and given my limited understanding, I know best right?

In the midst of all my confusion, I can hold fast to one truth, and that truth is that life is a mystery with definite certainties. I trust not because I have experienced, but my experiences have taught me to trust. I know that love conquers all, but how each of us reaches that understanding is as individual as we are, but serves us all the same. I have found that God is and isn't. We are all individuals on our own wonderful journey, but yet we are all one.

Let's take care of ourselves and each other,

Peace, Love & Blessings,
Marina